There Is No Title

Life is Unrelenting and unjust

*CONTENT WARNING*

What does one even write? I live in grief.

I said to myself, “I’m going to make posts about interesting topics this month!”

My dad told me “sad news”

my nephew committed suicide this morning. I still don’t believe any of it.

I have flashes of him as a child. Funny memories. A completely different life for all of us-detached from the actual wreckage of what it has become.

I have flashes of a time long ago, my mother calling, always calling. Calling.

My cousin took his life.

A year later, his older

brother would do the same.

I remember the day. I was starting a new chapter in my life in a new city. I noticed how the fall leaves swirled around me.

I thought it was a beautiful day.

Yesterday, we had a small, amazing dinner.

Me, my dad, my niece.

I remember thinking how it was a nice day and how i shouldn’t think about it that way because something bad eventually happens.

It’s been a year now since their dad passed away. Murdered but no charges. Their mom, my sister, passed a year or so before.

It’s like we live in a world of the past. Not by choice. Always pulled back there, a different time in our lives, different places.

I worry about all my nieces and nephews. This life is unrelenting and unjust.

we are here for such a short time.

We just have to make it through a little longer.

So, the creator can tell us why.

-Decolonize Myself